Growing Up Expat: Being Homesick

I hesitated to write this because I want to be positive first, but this would not be an accurate representation of the expat life without including all of the struggles as well. When you learn about the inevitability of culture shock, there is a point at which everyone gets homesick, and today was my turn.

Well, it only took me a few weeks to miss home. I’m going to keep it honest with all the experiences that we are having. Some are wonderful, some are not so good and sometimes it is just downright hard. Perhaps all 4 of us getting the tummy bug (affectionately known as the Cartagena Crud) over the weekend did me in, but I had those first few pangs of missing home.

How It Feels to Struggle

Watching my kids struggle with new things and seeing in their faces some disappointment or confusion is the hardest. I have had many moments where I say to myself, “Ok, we are going to be alright” and many where I say, “we’re screwed.”

I know if I am feeling homesick, they must also be feeling something similar. So we put on music that we love, or watch movies that we know, yesterday we baked muffins and built a fort under the table. In the spirit of getting it all out in writing, I’m going to list all the things I miss:

I miss driving myself around, I miss drive thru coffee, I miss my bathtub, I miss BBQ chopped salads (the good ones), I miss talking to anyone in English and about 100 people that I love.  

I realize this is about 99% culture shock and I knew it would hit long before we ever left, but I feel like part of documenting an expat life is acknowledging that it hits everyone in different ways at different times. There are lots of suggestions for homesickness, here are a few worth your while.

Here are practical ways to cope with homesickness and start feeling more grounded in your new home.

Acknowledge That You’re Homesick

Trying to ignore feeling homesick often makes it stronger. Instead, acknowledge it without judging yourself. Missing home simply means you care about where you come from. That emotional connection is a strength, not a weakness.

Create Familiarity in Your New Space

Small comforts can make a big difference when you’re homesick. Cook meals from home, listen to music you grew up with, or decorate your space with photos and meaningful objects. These familiar touches help your brain feel safe while you adjust.

Stay Connected

Regular calls or messages with friends and family can ease homesickness. Set times to catch up with the people who know and love you. Staying connected is healthy and it can be a good reminder that there are new friends to be made in every chapter of life.

Build a Local Routine

Homesickness often fades when your days have structure. Find a café you like, join a gym, take a class, or explore your neighborhood on foot. Routine turns a foreign place into your place. I always say that a friendly chat with your favorite barista can help you feel so much better.

Connect With Other Expats (Or Read About It)

Talking to others who feel—or have felt—homesick can be incredibly comforting. Expats understand the emotional ups and downs, while local friendships help you feel more rooted in your new country. If you don’t have an immediate way to connect, read about the experiences of others to feel like alone. Here are 4 worthwhile books for expats dealing with homesickness:

4 Books to Read When You’re Feeling Homesick

1. The Only Snow in Havana by Elizabeth Hay
A thoughtful memoir about living abroad and longing for home, chronicling the author’s years in Mexico, Cuba, and New York and the persistent feeling of missing her Canadian roots. 

2. Almost French: Love and a New Life in Paris by Sarah Turnbull
A travel memoir about moving from Australia to Paris, navigating culture shock, language barriers, and the bittersweet process of finding belonging in a foreign city — perfect for expats struggling with being “not quite at home.” 

3. Driving Over Lemons: An Optimist in Andalucía by Chris Stewart
A humorous and heartfelt account of building a life in rural Spain, this memoir captures the ups and downs of starting over, fitting in, and slowly making a foreign place feel like home. PenguinRandomhouse.com

4. Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges
Not expat-specific, but an excellent guide to understanding life transitions — helping you make emotional sense of leaving home and adapting to new environments. Absolutely Talented

Give Yourself Time

Adjusting to life abroad doesn’t happen overnight. Feeling homesick in the first months (or even longer) is completely normal. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small wins, like navigating public transport or ordering food confidently.

To end this post,  I’ll throw in a few pics of life lately. Saying good bye to the beloved cast, first days of school, mail from precious friends back home, naps and more naps, the “USA” section of the grocery store, Hurricane Matthew coming to visit, taking Boo to the gym and having her steal my I-Pod, and my new favorite coffee from Ely’s!

Adios Amigos!