Expat Book Club: Transitions by William Bridges

This month’s Expat Book Club is: Transitions by William Bridges. This book is not only extremely relevant to my current situation of moving from Korea to Australia, as I have talked a lot about my current stage of Anticipatory Grief, but his words sparked so much of my curiosity about why some life transitions are more difficult than others.

His insight is simple but profoundly important: You cannot rush the emotional stages of transition, you must feel the ending, take time to reflect on your past and current situation to gain insight and move towards a new beginning with a renewed spirit. Sounds easy?…. well, let’s take a closer look into some of these principles.

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Change vs. Transitions: The Central Idea

One of Bridges’ most important conclusions is his clarification that change and transitions are not the same thing. Change happens to us—new jobs, new technologies, layoffs, promotions, relocations, relationships beginning or ending. Transitions, on the other hand, happen inside us. They are the reorientation and emotional processing required to adapt to new circumstances. I really loved his idea that our feelings about transition play hugely into our ability to productively handle what is happening to us, further more that hope for the other side helps us move through.

To feel as though everything is up in the air, as one often does during times of personal transition, is endurable if it means something – if it is part of a movement toward a desired end.

Transitions, William Bridges (3).

People struggle not because they don’t understand change, but because they haven’t been given the space or tools to navigate the internal transition. Bridges aims to help you learn how to manage transitions through reflection, personal growth and feelings of a better life on the other side.

The Three Phases of Transitions

At the heart of the book is Bridges’ three-phase model of transitions, which provides a framework for understanding how people adapt to change over time.

Ending, Losing, and Letting Go
Every transition begins with an ending. This is often the most overlooked and emotionally charged phase. Even positive changes involve loss—loss of familiarity, identity, routines, or relationships. Bridges emphasizes that people must acknowledge these losses before they can move forward. Denying or rushing past endings leads to resistance, disengagement, or unresolved grief.

I read a quote that said, “It’s okay to be sad after making the right decision.” That has always stayed with me, there can be grief in the right thing, and I understand that sadness does not mean you will regret your choice. Even positive transitions can be painful.

The Neutral Zone
The neutral zone is the in-between space where the old is gone, but the new is not fully formed. This phase can feel uncomfortable, confusing, and even chaotic. Yet Bridges describes it as a fertile period for creativity, self – reflection, and transformation.

One of the processes that he recommends to not only endure the neutral zone, but understand what it is important is to journal. He says, “When you record your experience, you slow down and force yourself to put things into words. And out of the blur of your experience, shapes start to emerge” (149). You can write an autobiography, take a self-retreat, lean into the moments in between where you came from and where you are going to understand why you feel the way you do.

The New Beginning
Only after moving through endings and the neutral zone can a true new beginning take hold. This phase is marked by renewed energy, clarity, and commitment. Bridges notes that beginnings are not driven by dates or announcements, but by internal acceptance and understanding of purpose. “The lesson in all such experiences is that when we are ready to make a new beginning, we will shortly find an opportunity” (163).

He often encourages the reader to look back into your past transitional moments and identify when these moments took hold, or rather when you resisted, reversed or tried to fast forward them all together. In these reflections we can identify what made our past journeys more difficult than necessary or successes we are proud of.

The Importance of Processing Transitions Thoughtfully

Bridges emphasizes that transitions cannot be skipped. When people fail to process endings, they drag the past into the future. When they avoid the neutral zone, they miss opportunities for insight and reinvention. Thoughtful processing allows people to integrate change rather than merely survive it.

This applies equally to personal life and professional environments. Grieving a former role, identity, or relationship is not indulgent—it is necessary. Giving yourself permission to feel uncertainty is not unproductive—it is honest. By honoring the emotional reality of transitions, people build resilience and self-awareness that carry forward into future changes.

Key Takeaways from Transitions

Several enduring lessons bring Bridges’ ideas to practical life, some of my favorites are:

• Endings come first, even in positive change. Part of the journey is the end. Recognizing the loss, even in a positive change, helps people move forward more effectively.
• Discomfort is not failure. Confusion and ambiguity are normal signs that a transition is underway.
• The neutral zone is a creative space. With patience and reflection, it can become a source of deeper self-awareness and renewal. We don’t often take the time or make room to reflect deeply into ourselves, so seize the opportunity to connect with your emotions. This is different than brainstorming solutions to your transitions, rather it is finding your inner voice, the wisdom you have acquired and your personal desires for the outcome. You can achieve this in many different ways.
• Beginnings require purpose. People commit to change when they understand the “why,” not just the “what.” When you have reflected, listened to yourself, taken accountability in the transition, you will come to the other side with renewed sense of self and an inspired perspective.

A Book for Anyone Navigating Change

Ultimately, Transitions is not just a leadership book or a workplace manual—it is a deeply human guide to navigating life. Whether you are changing careers, redefining relationships, leading a team through uncertainty, or simply feeling stuck between chapters, Bridges offers language and clarity for experiences many people struggle to articulate.

In a world where change is constant, understanding transitions may be one of the most valuable skills we can develop. We are reminded that growth does not happen by rushing ahead, but by moving through change with awareness, patience, and respect for the inner journey. This is what makes lasting transformation possible.

I don’t often choose books in this genre, but I’m very glad I did. I know this book will be on my shelf for many years to come as I continue to navigate a life with many transitions.