If you’ve been with me for a while you will have seen the progression of this blog. From tales of traveling with small children to the many transitions we have made and the exciting trips we have been fortunate enough to take. I’ve evolved a bit into more travel writing, but I don’t want to get too far away from the real reason I started this blog, to document a life outside the norm; a road with many different stops. The next stop is coming quickly for us and with this looming life transition comes the anticipatory grief.
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Anticipated Emotions
My mind has always prepared for a major transition long before it actually happens. I want to leave space for the anticipatory grief of life events that shows up right about now. We are 6 months away from leaving our life in Korea. Every activity comes with a caveat, “I’m going to miss this”, “This is the last time we will…” and “I’m so grateful we were able to experience this.” It’s tears in the car, having realizations in the middle of very happy moments, and waking up at night wondering what our next chapter holds.
Last night sitting at my son’s high school basketball game, where a close win ended with crowds full of friends and familiar faces cheering and celebrating together, everything felt bittersweet. We are going to miss our life here. We are going to miss the community we have created. Our favorite places, holiday traditions, inside jokes, cultural knowledge, expanded palettes, and wonderful friendships; the kind of familiarity that only comes with being together through many seasons and shared experiences.
Even though we have transitioned several times now,
it doesn’t get easier to unravel a life you have loveingly built.
The thought of leaving behind favorite people, places and experiences you will likely never be able to replicate is a sadness that sits with you. And yet, you must trust that the next stop will have more in store for your family, you will build more chapters that will be equally as fulfilling. Abundance mentality.
Kids and Life Changes
Moving from one country to another can be especially emotional for children, as it often means leaving behind not just a home, but the places where their childhood memories live—favorite parks, school events, familiar streets, friends, and routines that helped them grow and find joy. Alongside excitement or curiosity, kids may experience grief, anxiety, anger, or a sense of loss that can be difficult to name, and these emotions can surface in unexpected ways during a major transition.
Supporting a child’s emotional wellbeing during this time starts with acknowledging those feelings as valid rather than rushing them toward positivity, giving them space to talk (or even draw or write) about what they’re leaving behind, and helping them find language for change.
Parents can ease the transition by:
- Creating intentional goodbyes, making sure your kids get the proper time to process the emotions of leaving. Create a “Before We Go” list of favorite activities and time with friends.
- Preserving memories through photos or journals – a photo book of your favorite memories is the perfect companion to transition.
- Maintaining familiar routines when possible – predictability is always a settling feeling in the midst of uncertainty.
- Involve children in the move so they feel a sense of control and continuity. Give them choices, as many as make sense to the situation, allow them some invested interest in the transition. I usually start with letting them design their new room, allowing for some control over their new space.
Most importantly, offering consistent reassurance, patience, and emotional presence helps children understand that while places may change, their sense of belonging and security remains intact.
Physical Change
As has been my experience, once I finally get to the physical move, the most common emotion I feel is relief. I have felt the sadness for many months prior and it has existed along side of the excitement about adventures to come. So once you finally make the actual move, you can begin to let go of the grief and feel the energy of your new adventure. I try to make sure we play tourists for the first few months, get to know our new town, all of its highlights and hopefully meet some new friends along the way.
How to Help with Anticipatory Grief & Transitions
Anticipatory grief can surface during many different life transitions, and fortunately for all of us, many thoughtful authors have captured these experiences through stories that explore both the emotions involved and the process of moving through change. Here are some meaningful books to consider as you navigate the stages of major life shifts:
- Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges – A classic guide to understanding the psychological transition that happens with major life events.
- Why it helps: Offers a clear framework for moving through endings, neutral zones, and beginnings.
- Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo – A motivational, practical philosophy for navigating challenges and change with confidence.
- Why it helps: Encourages problem-solving, and emotional empowerment.
- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho – A modern classic about following your personal legend, embracing change, and understanding life’s journey.
- Why it helps: Encourages self-discovery and trusting the process.
Many people seek outside help during these large transitions as well, for example, our International School offers a transitions workshops for families that are new and families that are leaving. Reach out and seek connection during this time, you will be surprised at the resources you find and the success stories that inspire you.
Final Thoughts
Just knowing that my process starts here gives me some peace, I am right on time. I am going to feel the grief, I am going to be shocked by how fast it all has gone by and know that the next chapter will hold its own wonders. The feelings are important to feel, without them, we never connected in the first place. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
“Grief only exists where love lived first.”
Franchesca Cox
If you are transitioning to a new country and want to learn about ways to build your community, check out my post, Building an Expat Support System Abroad.
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